Reconnecting With Your Partner After Childbirth
While being a parent is an exciting new adventure in itself; it can also be a very challenging time, especially for new parents. After childbirth, many couples find themselves in a challenging period of transition and adjustment.
The sleepless nights, boundless questions, and seemingly endless trips to the baby’s pediatrician are just some of your few responsibilities as new parents. Along the way, you may both feel too exhausted, that your social obligations and personal relationship may be set aside. These can hinder you from keeping the flame of your relationship alive.
But as you adjust to the demands and duties of being new parents, may you always remember that you’re not in this alone. And it’s even more important to recognize that there are various ways you can apply to rekindle the fire of your relationship after welcoming your precious one.
Our family is a circle of strength and love. With every birth and every union, the circle grows.
Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger.
– Harriet Morgan
Couples undergo various changes after childbirth, and most of these are a normal part of the transition to parenthood. In this section, we’ll delve into some of the most common changes that couples undergo after becoming parents and the ways by which you can keep your relationship stronger and healthier.
The common changes and hurdles couples undergo after becoming parents:
- Less bonding time as a couple
The demands and needs of a child may seem overwhelming at first. As new parents, you would often find yourself consumed by your new role, leaving less time and energy for yourself, both as an individual and as a couple. Your normal routine, like regular nights out, social weekends, and relaxing holidays, may not be out of reach. But they usually require a lot of planning and scheduling.
After having a baby, nourishing the friendship and passion that binds you as a couple is difficult, as you are now both focused on your precious one. The healthy communication and understanding that used to come naturally now require work and effort.
- Sleep deprivation and lack of rest
For most new parents, lack of rest and sleep is one of the greatest hurdles they face. The irritability, mental and physical exhaustion, and confusion caused by lack of rest, may affect the quality of your relationship.
- Change in intimacy and romance
Sex and intimacy are vital to your connection as a couple. However, after giving birth, your sex life and intimate moments may be affected by the different factors that come with parenthood.
The change in sex and intimacy may often make one or both of the partners long for the quality of connection they previously had. To avoid the post-baby lull that’s normally experienced by new parents, expressing it outside the bedroom may prove beneficial.
- Reduction of freedom and independence
A high level of freedom is often linked to happiness and satisfaction in life. However, after childbirth, there will be various changes in your life that you have to be prepared for. One of the most prominent changes is the limitation of your perceived freedom in life. As you’re now a parent, your baby’s needs and welfare should be the first in your priorities. It’s important to note, though, that your freedom may change in form, but it won’t disappear.
The increased sense of loneliness and isolation that comes with the reduction in freedom should be addressed and communicated with your partner and support team for you to cope healthily.
- A myriad of responsibilities, division of labor
As you transition from partners to parents, the division of tasks needs to be discussed and addressed. In most cases, one partner will have to stay at home to take care of the baby for a certain period. Taking care of all the household chores, such as meal preparation, should also be discussed, as it’s an overwhelming task when coupled with the baby’s needs. This may cause tension between parents, but it’s a crucial part of the transitory period.
- Clashing of Parenting Approaches/Philosophies
Each parent may carry a unique set of beliefs about parenting approaches, health principles, caring arrangements- priorities in general. Although most may find this an opportunity to get to know each other better, some may also be negatively affected by the differences in views. For new parents, this may be the first time that parenting styles, principles, and attitudes are addressed with noteworthy differences causing distress in the relationship.
Time and experience will tell us that couples who discuss their parenting views openly are more likely to avoid conflict and promote understanding and mutual support.
Parenthood is not defined by the things that you lose
but by the wisdom and love, you gain along the way.
– Intuitive Moms
Your relationship as a couple is bound to transform after childbirth.
As you transition from partners to parents, you’ll realize how reconnecting can be too difficult to maneuver. While you picture parenthood as a unifying force, that brings joy, fulfillment, and love. You should also be prepared for the ways parenthood can also tax a marriage and bring conflict and stress that can strain even the most stable unions.
So, how can you get through the first months and possibly years of child-rearing while you keep your relationship strong and healthy?
Check Out These Tips On Reconnecting With Your Partner After Childbirth
TAKEAWAY:
The immeasurable joy that comes from bringing a sacred life into the world outweighs every hurdle that parents face as they make their way through parenthood.
Being a parent involves more than just your relationship with your precious one; it encompasses how you perceive yourself as a mother or a father, how you appreciate and value your partner, and how you cope with the changes that being a parent comes with.
Of course, having a new addition to the family can also complicate any marriage’s dynamics. There will be tons of disagreements or arguments. Days filled with tears and an exhausting routine.
But there will also be heart-warming moments of intense closeness and vulnerability. It’s a chance to see your partner in a brand new light and role. Parenthood is an opportunity to better understand the reality of life. Although the challenges that come with being a parent can greatly affect your emotional, spiritual, and physical strength as a couple, it can also bring a newfound sense of intimacy and appreciation.
