Empower Your Husband: Helping New Dads Adjust To Fatherhood
When a child is born, the focus of help and support is often placed on the new mother and baby as they both try to adjust to life and its complexities. But they aren’t the only ones undergoing change. First-time fathers also experience stress and exhaustion due to changes in routine, sleep deprivation, and expectations that come with parenting.
Being a new parent can make one feel empowered and insecure at the same time. During this period, a new dad’s needs, especially his mental health, are often brushed aside. Self-care for new dads is barely taken as a priority, and this can leave him unprepared for his new role as a father.
So how can you, as a new mom, who’s also adjusting to the demands of motherhood, empower your husband and support him in his new journey towards fatherhood?
In this post, we’ll delve into the adjustments that fathers go through during the early years of parenthood, as well as the ways you can empower your husband and yourself throughout this exciting journey. Indeed, being partners in parenting, you can only work better when you function as a team.
To be a good parent, you need to take care of yourself so that you can have the physical and emotional energy to take care of your family.
– Michelle Obama
While being an expectant father is a time of great pride and happiness, men also have the tendency to feel overwhelmed by the pressure of being the financial and emotional support of their family. Expecting fathers often perceive that they need to be the pillars of the home, and carry the weight of these responsibilities on their own, often rejecting the support of others.
So, don’t be surprised if you observe your husband going through some physical and emotional changes as he becomes a father. Like you, he also needs support, acceptance, and love throughout this transition.
Most soon-to-be fathers experience conflicting feelings about their role and the identity of a patriarchal figure.
Here are some challenges an expectant dad may need some extra help with:
- An unwillingness to accept the pregnancy. This includes feeling too concerned with the changes he’ll soon be facing and perceiving most of those changes negatively
- Helplessness over the new situation
- Feeling like he lost a major part of his life. This might be his youth, freedom, or independence
- Struggling to balance his responsibilities with work and parenthood
- Mood swings and emotional changes
- Feeling exhausted, stressed, depressed, and anxious
NOTE:
The negative attitudes towards postnatal depression and anxiety among men become a significant barrier to them seeking help, guidance, and support in their new role as fathers. As intuitive moms, we’d love to help you empower your husband in acknowledging the challenges of fatherhood, asking for help when needed, and preparing them together with yourself, as you face the days ahead.
PATERNAL POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION
Like mothers, most men also go through emotional and hormonal disruptions during their fatherhood transition.
During their partner’s pregnancy, men’s hormones begin to shift. Their testosterone levels decrease while other hormones responsible for emotional responsiveness and attention increase. An amazing reason for the changes they encounter is that: It’s nature’s way of equipping and preparing them with the biological tools they’ll need to care for a newborn. These changes lead to an increased sensitivity to crying, a powerful drive to protect and care for others, a deeper likelihood and capacity to bond. These are all qualities that make a good father.
However, these changes can also lead to an increased likelihood of experiencing mood swings, sensitivity, fatigue, irritability, stress, and anxiety.
Just as mothers may experience Postpartum and Baby blues, fathers may also experience depression. According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, 10% of men around the world exhibit signs of depression starting from the 1st trimester through six months after childbirth.
Signs Of Postpartum Depression
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Inability to concentrate
- Loss of interest in activities that used to bring him joy
- Thoughts of disillusionment/ disappointment with the reality of being a father
- Irritability, sadness, agitation, and/or anger
- Engagement in risky behaviors like abusing alcohol or drugs, gambling, or other vices
- Shortness of breath and palpitations
Paternal postpartum depression is triggered largely by hormonal fluctuations and sleep deprivation. The good news, however, is that these hormonal and emotional changes are manageable and adaptive, especially when communicated with your partner, loved ones, or to a mental health professional.
Parenthood is a process of awakening your inner strength and silencing your deepest doubts
– INTUITIVE MOMS
Being the partner of someone struggling with postpartum depression can be quite a challenge, especially for a new mom like you. You may experience a bout of emotions, like feeling concerned about the welfare of your baby and overwhelmed with the responsibility of helping your partner feel better. You may even feel sadness, disappointment, anger, and resentment about everything that’s happening, and that’s normal too!
Although postpartum depression is a mental illness that requires professional help, you have a vital role to play in helping your partner recover while caring for your mental health as well, and there are many simple, straightforward steps you can take to make that happen. Your Intuitive Moms are glad to share these tips with you.
Check Out These Tips On Empowering Your Partner As You Journey Toward Parenthood
TAKEAWAY:
Parenthood may present itself as a challenging and frightening journey. But having someone who supports and understands you as you try to become the best parent you can be -can make the coping and recovery time shorter and worth it.
As you navigate the foreign waters of parenthood, know that you’ll never be alone in your doubts and fears. It’s normal to have mixed emotions, so try not to feel guilty about it. And while you’re trying to muster the courage to be a parent, you can also be both the source and recipient of your partner’s strength. So, be there for your partner in whichever way you can.
Be there for them when they’re feeling tired and overwhelmed. Be their safe harbor where they can find refuge, away from their worries and doubts.
Be there when they’re sad, needy, and vulnerable. Be their source of peace, serenity, and clarity, when everything else seems unclear.
Together you make a great team. And while this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey, we can clearly see that you’re both up to a good start. You’ll be amazing parents!
Motherhood is a lifelong adventure destined to be travelled with faith, love, and understanding as your main fuel.
-Intuitive Moms